My Real Coming Out Story

I was 16.

He was twenty.

I knew nothing.

It seemed to me, at the time, he knew everything.

I was a kid, really.

And he was my brother's kabarkada.

It was late in the afternoon, and my mom asked if he could keep me company while she talked with his mom over sangria.

He gladly complied and asked if I wanted to play video games on his pc in his bedroom.

I nodded.

We went upstairs.

His name was Gio. He was taking up MassComm back then.

He was also part of the neighborhood basketball team.

He was tall, fair-skinned, and a little chinito.

I never paid much attention to him back then, as I was trying to ignore most of the neighborhood males.

I had a girlfriend during that time, and confused thoughts about the male specie were certainly not welcome.

But that day, when Gio invited me into his room, I felt...

HOT.

He leaned his hand on my back as we were walking up to his room, and I swear I could feel his hand sliding down my back, stopping just before my butt.

His hand was warm, really warm.

When we entered his carpeted room, I shivered involuntarily.

It was freezing.

"Sorry if it's so cold, I like it this way, you see," Gio half-smiled at me, "Okay ka lang? Masyado bang malamig?"

And then he wrapped his arms around me, and looked at me intently, this half-smile still on his lips, "Sabihin mo lang pag sobrang lamig ha? Akong bahala."

I shivered again. I was instantly hard.

We sat in front of his pc and he showed me what games he had.

"Anong gusto mong laruin?"  he asked, looking at me sideways, still that goddamned half-smile on his face.

I could feel part of his chest leaning on my shoulder, amoy bagong paligo siya.

I could hear him breathing loudly. His breath, on my ear.

I couldn't talk. I couldn't breathe properly.

He leaned on me some more, his right arm wrapping around my shoulders.

"Okay ka lang?" he whispered in my ear.

I couldn't answer him.

His leg was brushing against mine.

I could feel his coarse leg hair. Scratchy against my smooth one.

His lips brushed against my ear, and then he blew on it some more.

"Okay ka lang?" he whispered again.

"The door," was all I could say.

"Naka-lock na," he said as he pulled me unto his bed.

It was my first time.

And it was good.